With Snowflakes Waiting To Be Offended……

I have decided to cut to the chase and make it easier for them to realize they are being offended. I have gathered a list insults that are sure to offered any self-centered snow flake so that they can act outraged and skew whoever happens to be nearby.

Please do not email with your complaints as I have set up a junk file for those.

Nice (Maybe) Ways To Describe

Snow Flakes

A photographic memory, but the lens cover is glued on
One celled organisms out score him in IQ tests.
During evolution his ancestors were in the control group.
Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.
Has two brains; one is lost and the other is out looking for it.
He's so dense, light bends around him.
If brains were taxed, he'd get a rebate.
If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week.
If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change back.
If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean.
It's hard to believe that he beat out 100,000 other sperm
Some drink from the fountain of knowledge, but he just gargled.

A few feathers short of a whole duck.
All foam, no beer.
The cheese slid off his cracker.
Body by Fisher, brains by Mattel.
Has an IQ of 2, but it takes 3 to grunt.
Couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel.
He fell out of the stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down.
An intellect rivaled only by garden tools.
As smart as bait.
Forgot to pay his brain bill.
His antenna doesn't pick up all the channels.
Proof that evolution CAN go in reverse.
Receiver is off the hook.
Got into the gene pool while the lifeguard wasn't watching.
Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold them together.