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Types Of Government
Even In the 1800s it was understood that our elected officials were corrupt. Do not know if has gotten worse, since I was not alive then, but I am of the option that they have sunk to new levels of depravity
Bureaucracy: You have two cows. At first the government regulates what you can feed them and when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to milk them. Then its takes both cows, shoots one, milks the other and pours the milk down the drain. Then it requires you to fill four forms accounting for the cows and the loss of the milk
Bureaucratic Socialism: You have two cows. The government takes them and put them in a barn with everyone else's cows. They are cared for by ex-chicken farmers. You have to take care of the chickens the government took from the chicken farmers. The government gives you as much milk and eggs as the regulations say you need.
Bureaucracy: You have two cows. At first the government regulates what you can feed them and when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to milk them. Then its takes both cows, shoots one, milks the other and pours the milk down the drain. Then it requires you to fill four forms accounting for the cows and the loss of the milk
Bureaucratic Socialism: You have two cows. The government takes them and put them in a barn with everyone else's cows. They are cared for by ex-chicken farmers. You have to take care of the chickens the government took from the chicken farmers. The government gives you as much milk and eggs as the regulations say you need.
Democracy: Two wolves and a lamb voting on what is for dinner.
Armed Democracy: That lamb with a Glock contesting the vote.
Bureaucratic Socialism: You have two cows. The government takes them and put them in a barn with everyone else's cows. They are cared for by ex-chicken farmers. You have to take care of the chickens the government took from the chicken farmers. The government gives you as much milk and eggs as the regulations say you need.
Bureaucracy: You have two cows. At first the government regulates what you can feed them and when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to milk them. Then its takes both cows, shoots one, milks the other and pours the milk down the drain. Then it requires you to fill four forms accounting for the cows and the loss of the milk
Bureaucratic Socialism: You have two cows. The government takes them and put them in a barn with everyone else's cows. They are cared for by ex-chicken farmers. You have to take care of the chickens the government took from the chicken farmers. The government gives you as much milk and eggs as the regulations say you need.
Democracy: Two wolves and a lamb voting on what is for dinner.
Armed Democracy: That lamb with a Glock contesting the vote.
Pure Democracy: You have two cows. Your neighbors decide who gets the milk.
Russian Communism: You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the government takes all the milk. You steal as much milk at you can and sell it on the black market.
Pure Communism: Your two cows are combined with your neighbors cows. You and you neighbors bicker about who has the most "ability" and who has the most "need'. Meanwhiles, no one feeds to cows, no one milks then; hence, no one gets any milk and the cows drop dead of starvation.
Fascism: You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them and sells you the milk.
Pacifism: You have two cows. The cows chase you out of the pasture and you sit on the fence and try to reason with them.
American Democrat Party: You have two cows. The Democratic Governor mandates that you stay indoors for two months to self quarantine. Both cows die, and you are arrested and charged with maintaining an unsafe work environment and your farm is impounded.
Constitutional Republic: You have two cows. The Federal Government is restricted by the Constitution what they can tell you what to do with those cows. However, on a local l level, those decisions are made by direct democratic processes, meaning if you have enemies in the local government, they can tell you how many cows you can have and how to milk them.
Capitalism: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.
Russian Communism: You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the government takes all the milk. You steal as much milk at you can and sell it on the black market.
Pure Communism: Your two cows are combined with your neighbors cows. You and you neighbors bicker about who has the most "ability" and who has the most "need'. Meanwhiles, no one feeds to cows, no one milks then; hence, no one gets any milk and the cows drop dead of starvation.
Fascism: You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them and sells you the milk.
Pacifism: You have two cows. The cows chase you out of the pasture and you sit on the fence and try to reason with them.
American Democrat Party: You have two cows. The Democratic Governor mandates that you stay indoors for two months to self quarantine. Both cows die, and you are arrested and charged with maintaining an unsafe work environment and your farm is impounded.
Constitutional Republic: You have two cows. The Federal Government is restricted by the Constitution what they can tell you what to do with those cows. However, on a local l level, those decisions are made by direct democratic processes, meaning if you have enemies in the local government, they can tell you how many cows you can have and how to milk them.
Capitalism: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.
Very Stupid Laws
Texas:
The entire Encyclopedia Britannica is banned because it contains a formula for making beer at home.
It is illegal to milk another person's cow.
Utah:
A husband is responsible for every criminal act committed by his wife in his presence.
Vermont:
It is illegal to whistle underwater.
Women must obtain written permission from their husbands to wear false teeth.
California:
In L.A., a man may legally beat his wife with a leather strap, as long as it is less than 2 inches wide, or she gives him permission to use a wider strap.
It is a misdemeanor to shoot any kind of game from a moving vehicle, unless the target is a whale.
Ohio:
In Columbus, it is illegal for stores to sell corn flakes on Sunday.
In Oxford, it is illegal for a woman to disrobe in front of a man's picture.
In Youngstown, it is illegal to run out of gas.
Florida:
Unmarried women who parachute on Sunday's will be
jailed.
Arkansas:
A man can legally beat his wife, but no more than once a month.
The entire Encyclopedia Britannica is banned because it contains a formula for making beer at home.
It is illegal to milk another person's cow.
Utah:
A husband is responsible for every criminal act committed by his wife in his presence.
Vermont:
It is illegal to whistle underwater.
Women must obtain written permission from their husbands to wear false teeth.
California:
In L.A., a man may legally beat his wife with a leather strap, as long as it is less than 2 inches wide, or she gives him permission to use a wider strap.
It is a misdemeanor to shoot any kind of game from a moving vehicle, unless the target is a whale.
Ohio:
In Columbus, it is illegal for stores to sell corn flakes on Sunday.
In Oxford, it is illegal for a woman to disrobe in front of a man's picture.
In Youngstown, it is illegal to run out of gas.
Florida:
Unmarried women who parachute on Sunday's will be
jailed.
Arkansas:
A man can legally beat his wife, but no more than once a month.
Oklahoma:
Whale hunting is strictly forbidden. Also,
people who make "ugly faces" at dogs may be fined and/or jailed.
Oregon:
--The town of Hood River prohibits the act of juggling without a license.
Montana:
In Whitehall, it is illegal to operate a vehicle with ice picks attached to the wheels.
It is a felony for a wife to open her husband's mail.
Georgia:
In Quitman, it is illegal for a chicken to cross the road.
In Columbus, it is illegal to sit on one's porch in an indecent position.
Pennsylvania:
"Any motorist who sights a team of horses coming toward him must pull well off the road, cover his car with a blanket or canvas that blends with the countryside, and let the horses pass. If the horses appear skittish, the motorist must take his car apart piece by piece, and hide it under the nearest bushes."
Tennessee:
It is illegal to use a lasso to catch a fish.
In Dyersburg, it is illegal for a woman to call a man for a date.
In Memphis, it is illegal for a woman to drive by herself; "a man must walk or run in front of the vehicle, waving a red flag in order to warn approaching pedestrians and motorists.
Virginia:
In Richmond, it is illegal to flip a coin in any eating establishment to determine who buys a cup of coffee.
Whale hunting is strictly forbidden. Also,
people who make "ugly faces" at dogs may be fined and/or jailed.
Oregon:
--The town of Hood River prohibits the act of juggling without a license.
Montana:
In Whitehall, it is illegal to operate a vehicle with ice picks attached to the wheels.
It is a felony for a wife to open her husband's mail.
Georgia:
In Quitman, it is illegal for a chicken to cross the road.
In Columbus, it is illegal to sit on one's porch in an indecent position.
Pennsylvania:
"Any motorist who sights a team of horses coming toward him must pull well off the road, cover his car with a blanket or canvas that blends with the countryside, and let the horses pass. If the horses appear skittish, the motorist must take his car apart piece by piece, and hide it under the nearest bushes."
Tennessee:
It is illegal to use a lasso to catch a fish.
In Dyersburg, it is illegal for a woman to call a man for a date.
In Memphis, it is illegal for a woman to drive by herself; "a man must walk or run in front of the vehicle, waving a red flag in order to warn approaching pedestrians and motorists.
Virginia:
In Richmond, it is illegal to flip a coin in any eating establishment to determine who buys a cup of coffee.
Presidential Secrets
The Difference
President Donald Trump and B. Hussain Obama were in the same barshop having their hair cut by different barbers. The barber who had finished cutting B.H. Obama, hair reached for the aftershave.
B.H. Obama stoped him saying, "No thanks, my wife Michelle will smell that and think I've been in a whorehouse all day."
The second barber turned to President Trump and said, "How about you sir?"
President Trump replied, "Go ahead; my wife doesn't know what the inside of a whorehouse smells like."
President Donald Trump and B. Hussain Obama were in the same barshop having their hair cut by different barbers. The barber who had finished cutting B.H. Obama, hair reached for the aftershave.
B.H. Obama stoped him saying, "No thanks, my wife Michelle will smell that and think I've been in a whorehouse all day."
The second barber turned to President Trump and said, "How about you sir?"
President Trump replied, "Go ahead; my wife doesn't know what the inside of a whorehouse smells like."
A Good Trade
Air Force one has just landed at Washington DC.
Bill Clinton steps off of the plane carrying two pigs.
One of his Secret Service men says, "Those are two really nice pigs Sir."
Bill says, "These are not just any ordinary pigs. These are genuine Arkansas Razorback Pigs.
I got one for Hillary and one for Chelsea."
The Secret Service man says, "Nice trade, Sir!"
Air Force one has just landed at Washington DC.
Bill Clinton steps off of the plane carrying two pigs.
One of his Secret Service men says, "Those are two really nice pigs Sir."
Bill says, "These are not just any ordinary pigs. These are genuine Arkansas Razorback Pigs.
I got one for Hillary and one for Chelsea."
The Secret Service man says, "Nice trade, Sir!"
